The Light, Clarity, Myself

1. Today is the first day I have actually felt like I'm slowly climbing out of my black hole of depression. I can honestly say today that I feel good and stronger than I have in the past 8 months. Even though depression comes and goes at this stage, one thing I will say is that I never want to hit rock bottom again. That is one place I never want experience again.

2. Red and I went off campus to study. I really needed it as my thesis has over taken my life. I felt so much better and my mind felt completely clear. So clear that I was able to finish one of my projects today. Both of us had a good laugh over some of the events that have happened to me this week. Made me realize that I'm getting my strength back everyday.

3. I had a few people today say that I was glowing. They said they haven't seen that smile on me for a long time. I guess I'm starting to find myself again. :)

Play, Laundry, Cake

1. Tonight I saw a play on campus called "Goya: en la Quinta del Sordo" which translates to: "In the House of the Deaf Man." The play is about the Spanish painter Francisco de Goya who went deaf in his mid career. The play was unique in the sense that it didn't use any kind of language. Everything was performed in gestures, vibration, and the use of colorful costumes and masks. It was amazing!!! The play has received such great feedback that they will be performing at other Universities in the area as well. It was great getting out, socializing, and being away from my dorm for a change!

2. I finally got around to doing my laundry. I haven't done my laundry in almost 2 weeks so needless to say it was piling up. I enjoy doing laundry believe it or not. I love the smell of clean clothes is what is.

3. I had the last of the coffee cake that Jersey's mom got for me. I've been saving it for when I felt in the mood. I loooove cake! Yummy! :)

Friendship, Happiness, Fingers Crossed

1. Last night I was able to save a friendship by talking out my feelings to a good friend of mine. While at one point I was ready to write this person off, I looked back on our relationship and realized that what he did was not intentional and just a mistake. We chatted for a long time and I was able to be openly honest with my feelings and what has been going on with me in my life. I believe this is the first time I have been able to effectively communicate with someone in a healthy way. It felt good to chat with him as I have missed his friendship as well. I'm glad things are well between us now.

2. Today is the first day I actually have felt happy in a long time. I think I'm starting to feel better about myself and my future. I have some goals and plans for myself that I hope to accomplish after I graduate.

3. I found out the Interpreting Department will have a meeting tomorrow to decide the fate of that girl I ratted out. Seems like they may kick her out! We're all pretty excited about this! :D

Informing, Friendship, Hero

1. Today I went to the Interpreting Department to squeal on that one girl who I confronted yesterday. Some other students and the 2nd year graduates from the Interpreting department really encouraged me to go. They said if anyone was file a complaint about her, it would be me. After some consideration, I decided to do it. I spoke with the Coordinator of the Graduate Interpreting students there about it. While I didn't get any feedback from her, she did take notes and said she would be discussing this with the department chair. I walked away feeling proud of myself for standing up for something I believe in.

2. I had a long chat with RC today in the library. His support and belief in me made me feel so good about myself. He's really become a good friend of mine who I will continue to cherish.

3. One of the interpreting students told me she was very proud of what I did and called me her hero. Another interpreting student told me he was very thankful for what I had done. Both were glad I had supported them in their field and hope something comes out of this. I feel good knowing I was able to be there for them in this difficult matter.

Lunch, Famous, Hope

1. I had a nice lunch with Red today. He told me all about his evening going out last night and such. I've been very down lately so hanging out and chatting with him was a real mood lifter for me. I feel fortunate to have him as a good friend.

2. Today I confronted 4 hearing graduate students as to why they were talking in the Marketplace without signing when we were surrounded by deaf people. One of the girls gave attitude and I had about a 5 minute confrontation with her about it. Eventually her and her friends left. The sad part about it is this girl is a 1st year graduate student in the Interpreting program. With that attitude of hers, she will not get far in her career. Anyway, word has gotten around and I'm now famous on campus for being the one to do the confrontation. I'm quite proud of myself :)

3. I had a conversation with two good friends of mine about a recent breakup I went through last week. Their advice and positiveness made me feel better about my situation as I've been non-functional since it happened. They gave me hope and made me feel better about myself. I feel lucky to have people who care about me.

Out, Thesis, Warmth

1. Jersey was having a bad day so we went out to Uno's for dinner. It was a nice change listening to someone else's problems rather than focusing on all mine. Gave my mind a mental break.

2. I got quite a bit accomplished on my thesis today while at work. I'm so glad today was slow.

3. The heaters in the dorm finally work. My room is nice and toasty!

Mixers, Thesis, 80's

1. Red made me laugh today. Met with him in the cafeteria so I could help him with a project of his. As we were leaving, he said he wanted to get some ice cream. So he puts a scoop of ice-cream in a cup then goes over to the soda machine and adds soda to it. "Oh, you made a float?", I said. "No", he replied. "I don't feel like carrying two separate cups so I decided to put them in one". I guess you had to be there but it made me laugh pretty hard!

2. Making some decent progress with my thesis. I get excited when I'm working on it. I can't wait for the final results!

3. I found one of my favorite songs from the 80's. The Alan Parsons Project---"Don't Answer Me". Enjoy!

If you believe in the power magic,
I can change your mind
And if you need to believe in someone,
Turn and look behind
When we were living in a dream world,
Clouds got in the way
We gave it up in a moment of madness
And threw it all away

Don't answer me, don't break the silence
Don't let me win
Don't answer me, stay on your island
Don't let me in

Run away and hide from everyone
Can you change the things weve said and done?

If you believe in the power of magic,
Its all a fantasy
So if you need to believe in someone,
Just pretend its me
It ain't enough that we meet as strangers
I cant set you free
So will you turn your back forever on what you mean to me?

Don't answer me, don't break the silence
Don't let me win
Don't answer me, stay on your island
Don't let me in

Run away and hide from everyone
Can you change the things we've said and done?